Why I got divorced…
Last wéek was my birthday….
My wife didnt wish me….
My parents forgot and so did my kids….
I went to work….
Even my colleagues didnt wish me…. As i entered my cabin my secretary said,”Happy Birthday Boss”…. i felt so special…. She asked me out to lunch…. After lunch,she invited me to her apartment…
WE went there…. She said,”Do you mind if i go into the bedroom for a minute ?”
She came out 5min later with a cake And My Wife,,My Parents,,My Kids,,My Friends & My Colleagues… All Screaming,,SURPRISE…. And I was waiting on the sofa.. NAKED
Soon weddings will be performed like this:
Priest: Do you agree to change your Facebook status from Single to Married?
Priest: Congrats! You are now husband and wife. You may now Poke the bride. And please don’t forget to Tag me in the wedding pics.
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, “Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies. “Great!” the husband says, “did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”